Oscar Night!!

March 7th, 2010

I am excited but not expecting any of my horses to come in. I want Inglorious Basterds to win everything but I think only Christoph Waltz will win. I am RILLY tired of Mo’Nique and her hairy legs and open marriage and do not want her to win.

Popularity: 8% [?]

Is there anything better….

March 7th, 2010

major_league1

…than a little Major League on a Sunday afternoon?

Forget about the curveball Ricky, give him the heater!!!!!

Popularity: 3% [?]

Which Bitch…

March 6th, 2010

patsy and ed

…are you?
Carlos sent me this excellent and nearly comprehensive list of bitches as written by a 3rd grader. (There is a page missing). THANKS CARLOS!!
http://andiamnotlying.com/2010/types-of-bitches/

Upon review, I am a 6, 12, 20, 21, 26, 29, 41, 62, 68, 69, 74, and 88. If I must pick just 1, #29 CRAZY BITCH it is!!

6) Got all that mouth but can’t step bitches
12) Ain’t got no damn sense bitches
20) Loud mouth bitches
21) Pissy bitches
26) Bitches that be ignoring you when they know they can hear you
29) Crazy bitches
41) Bitches who think they hard
62) Stain on your pants bitches
68) Protecting their store bitches
69) Pajamas outside bitches
74) Psycho bitches
89) Short bitches

Here is the full list. Which Bitch are you? Carlos = #32. Shane = #79. Mommy’s Pretty = #27.

Types of Bitches

1) Dirty dumb ass bitches
2) Aint got no ass bitches
3) Dusty trick bitches
4) Fishy bitches
5) Don’t know how to fight bitches
6) Got all that mouth but can’t step bitches
7) Ugly looking bitch that think they all that
8) Can’t keep a man bitches
9) Track wearing bitches
10) Bitches that be trying to steal your man
11) Hoochie looking bitches
12) Ain’t got no damn sense bitches
13) Stupid bitches that act dumb
14) Bitches who can only get a dirty boy
15) Want to be jocking bitches
16) Bitches who think their man love them but get pregnant and be left alone
17) Bitches who think they better than me
18) Instigating bitches
19) Talking behind your back bitches
20) Loud mouth bitches
21) Pissy bitches
22) Stingy bitches
23) Funky looking bitches
24) Short hair bitches
25) Spanish bitches who think they all that cause of their hair
26) Bitches that be ignoring you when they know they can hear you
27) Staring in your face bitches
28) Big eyed looking bitches
29) Crazy bitches
30) Nappy tender headed bitches
31) Booty shorts wearing bitches
32) Coast-signing bitches
33) Dick riding bitches
34) Whipped bitches
35) Buck tooth bitches
36) Cheesy teeth bitches
37) Same wearing clothes each day bitches
38) Ghetto bitches
39) Hair dyeing bitches
40) Wearing shoes that be talking bitches
41) Bitches who think they hard
42) Bitches that think they get money
43) Bitches that go to a dirty school
44) (page missing)
45) (page missing)
46) (page missing)
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48) (page missing)
49) (page missing)
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59) Gay bitches
60) Stanky fishy coochie smelling bitches
61) Tomboy bitches
62) Stain on your pants bitches
63) Dry scalp dandruff bitches
64) Dirty hair bitches
65) Stealing bitches
66) Stinky feet bitches
67) Big gap bitches
68) Protecting their store bitches
69) Pajamas outside bitches
70) Ragly braid bitches
71) Stanky butt bitches
72) Greedy bitches
73) Slimy grimy bitches
74) Psycho bitches
75) Drug dealing bitches
76) Geekin’ bitches
77) Suntanning bitches
78) Goofy looking bitches
79) Triflin’ bitches
80) Skanky bitches
81) Mugging bitches
82) Sloppy bitches
83) Dirty fingernails bitches
84) Dirty sock wearing bitches
85) Uncreative bitches
86) White bitches that think black people poor
87) Conceited bitches
88) Tall bitches
89) Short bitches
90) Jealous bitches

pats and ed

Popularity: 7% [?]

MARCH!!

March 1st, 2010

It was in the high 50’s today. But maybe snow tonight??? I WANT SPRING!!

Happy March to you all! That was the quickest Feb ever!

Popularity: 7% [?]

i am so sorry

February 25th, 2010

but my sorry means nothing

R.I.P. Andrew Koenig

R.I.P.

Popularity: 8% [?]

In search of: Boner

February 21st, 2010

boner

According to a hot tip, Boner from Growning Pains is missing!!! (And I thought he had been missing for the past 20 years!!) Andrew Koenig was last seen in Vancouver on Valentine’s Day. We have our fingers crossed that he turns up safe and sound, but he was not on his return flight on 2/16. Be on the look out! I think this is what he looks like now:

AndrewKoenig

Thanks chole!!!!!

And in case you are confused by your 80’s sitcom co-stars, this is NOT the same as Brian Bonsall being arrested again. Here is what little Andy from Family Ties looks like in his most recent mugshot:

Family Ties Actor Arrested

Popularity: 11% [?]

Zombieland!!

February 20th, 2010

night of the comet

I LOVE ZOMBIELAND!!

It is hilarious. It is really hard for me to watch movies because I prefer my entertainment in 60- or 30- minute bites. Hard for me to sit still for 2 hours. But I wanted Zombieland to keep going!! It makes me want to rewatch Night of the Comet. Here are just some of the reasons to watch:

  • Woody Harrelson
  • Newcomer and poor man’s Michael Cera, Jesse Eisenberg
  • Emma Stone
  • Abigail Breslin
  • Bill Murray as himself!!
  • It is campy in a good way
  • Twinkie motif (AND an appearance from my beloved Snowballs)
  • Guns guns guns
  • Amusement Park Scene
  • Hummer and Escalade with #3 painted on the doors
  • Prominence of lists of rules. I like lists of rules. Double tap, Fasten Your Seatbelt, Check the back, Enjoy the little things….what were the other rules Shane?
  • Happy ending. You know I am a sucka.

Popularity: 14% [?]

What Tiger should have done

February 20th, 2010

I wish Tiger had just come out and done Chris Rock’s “Men are as faithful as their options” bit.

Popularity: 12% [?]

Tiger’s Tawdry Tail Tale

February 19th, 2010

 

Blah blah SORRY Blah blah ELIN Blah blah THERAPY Blah blah BUDDHISM Blah blah ALL MY FAULT Blah blah SELFISH Blah blah FAME AND MONEY Blah blah SORRY

Me bad

Elin good

Paparazzi super bad

I don’t think Tiger has been in rehab for the past 45 days. I think he is made out of leftover C3PO parts and Elin threw salt water (gravy) on him on Thanksgiving and blew all of his circuits. (Not in the same way that Rachel, Jamie, Jamie, Kori, Teresa, Josyln, etc blew all of his circuits). And Robots-R-Us have been reassembling Tiger and programming him to say, “I. AM. SORRY.” in the most robotic voice possible.

Popularity: 14% [?]

WORK!

February 19th, 2010

Today is one of those days when work is RILLY cramping my style. Obviously I need to be focused on the Eldrick Woods press conference and nothing else!! Luckily, I am very confident that if I miss the live version, I will get to see it replayed 7000 times this weekend.

Popularity: 13% [?]