Bitch du Jour

We watched Inception last week. I liked it and it was really good. HOWEVER, it was marketed TOTALLY WRONG. Instead of “confusing” or “makes your brain hurt” or “makes you scared to sleep”, this film should have been marketed simply as “There are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6 HOT guys on screen at all times during this movie”. SERIOUSLY. Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Tom Hardy, Ken Watanabe, Lukas Haas, Cillian Murphy. YUM and YUMMER. Hell, throw Michael Caine and Tom Berenger in the mix as the hot old guys. EVERYONE looked really really good, and according to the behind-the-scenes footage we watched, ALL of the costumes were custom made for the movie, so all of the studs looked really really good in their suits. CHECK IT OUT!

And for the record, I am no genius, but this movie is just not that confusing. Taken at face value, it is pretty straight-forward. Dream within a dream BLAH BLAH BLAH. But I still highly recommend it.

Popularity: 5% [?]

Do you ever wonder if life imitates BdJ or BdJ imitates life?

A mere mention of Jay Z on BdJ yesterday has brought him live into my Sirius radio….H Stern is interviewing him now! My favorite part so far: awkward Oprah story. Good for you Jay Z. DONT KISS HER ASS!

Popularity: 3% [?]

ok, so it has actually been 2.5 years since we last debated “Who Plays You?” in the movie about Bitch du Jour….i just re-read the old ones and they are HILARIOUS. Check them out here. So I decided to put a new spin on things: this time, your actor has to be of a different race….(side bar: the 2.5 years ago thing is very interesting, as Zach G wasn’t even on my radar back then, and now he is the biggest star in the world! and CLEARLY he bumps Phillip Seymour Hoffman to play shane in the “white” version of this game!)

My favorite conversation of the week was when I came up with this brilliant idea:

me: …so we’re going to do “Who Plays You - Benetton style”

shane: you know who plays you, right?

me: of course

shane: let’s count to 3 and see if we are thinking the same name

us: 1-2-3!!

me: NAOMI CAMPBELL!!

shane: VANESSA WILLIAMS!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I would have to be kissing my own ass pretty hard to select either of those hot sluts to play me. I think I probably need to be closer to Lil Kim/Foxy Brown territory, but really I need to ponder this. So put your thinking caps on, folks, and figure out Who Plays You…Benetton Style!! I am going to do the casting for you if you dont reply! (And I realize that several of you were already international on the last go-round, so you can stick with your old one or pick a new one!)

So here we go….WHO PLAYS YOU?

The Bitch

Shane “sober”

shane shane

Mommy’s Pretty Princess (R.I.P.)

Carlos

cstar

jerome

wendy g and jorge

Karl Uber

Carrie

Popularity: 5% [?]

has anyone else noticed how much alleged dick-pic recipient jenn sterger (top photo) looks like deanna favre (bottom photo)? does this mean brett has a type? is it more or less insulting for your husband to try to hookup with someone who looks like you?

Popularity: 2% [?]

I WANT TO TALK ABOUT DICK PICS!!

Brett Favre, you are now a member of the dubiously elite club of celebrities with embarrassing sexting/voicemail/email scandals. Brett’s lame voicemails are bad enough, but the dick pics are HEINOUS!! Plus, timeline-wise, the specific voicemails that have gone public were during the time that Brett’s wife was recovering from cancer. I’m no PR expert, but any bad behavior that reminds people of JOHN EDWARDS can’t be good. But the real lesson here, other than the obvious dont-take-photos-of-your-dick-and-send-them-to-people, is that email and voicemails last FOREVER. Case in point: At the pub last night I played a voicemail from 2007 for a Howard Stern fan I had just met. A little souvenir. Voicemail even outlasts the phone itself. It is like an electronic cockroach. But seriously, if you are sending dick pics, you deserve to get caught!

Popularity: 3% [?]

We watched Everybody’s Fine last night. I guess it is a testament to the good acting or good writing or good directing that I was able to hang in for the duration of this fucking downer. (Spoiler: Everybody is NOT Fine)

I would recommend this movie for anyone who is contemplating suicide and needs that extra push to put them over the edge.

Popularity: 3% [?]

nothing is more disappointing than rapping along to an old school eazy e song, only to discover it is actually YOUNG eazy e, when he busts out a rap eulogy to his pops. WTF itunes? i am such a novice. this is what happens when you buy albums on itunes.

*Doesn’t Eazy look SMOKIN hot in that picture? I miss you. Truly one of the biggest casualties of AIDS. I would trade a Magic Johnson for an Eazy E any day of the week.

Popularity: 3% [?]

You must see the new Bad Lieutenant starring Nicolas Cage. It is so good. I wanted it to keep playing forever. Nick is still a crazy fucker, but I just can’t resist his movies. His character in Bad Lt. is amazing. I love him.

Popularity: 3% [?]

It is almost more fun when you see a Z lister than an A lister. Like the time shane spotted Jared Fogel, of Subway weightloss fame, at LaGuardia.

So shane and I were standing in front of Crispo, not minding our own business, when none other than JOHN TESH and CONNIE SELLECA wandered into our world. They got out of a town car with a granny and a teenage-ish daughter. They looked very confused, so shane finally asked if they were looking for Crispo and pointed them inside!! Too damn funny. SHANE DROPPED SOME KNOWLEDGE ON JOHN TESH!!

So, only about 50% of the people who have heard this story know who John Tesh and Connie Selleca are… JT used to be the host of Enertainment Tonight and now makes weird new age music. Connie was the Jennifer Love Hewitt of about 25 years ago. She is actually the reason I noticed them – she is still stunningly beautiful with raven black hair. *wendy g was able to confirm that Connie also starred on the TV Show “Hotel” for 5 years back in the 80′s. Thanks wendy g!

Popularity: 3% [?]

…but now i LOVE him!! like his shirt.

Popularity: 3% [?]