Apparently The Bitch was not the only one actin-a-fool over the past week…<insert my usual rant about drunk driving celebs here>
Seriously, Sam Shepard, I had JUST rediscovered my love for you 1 week ago when I re-watched Steel Magnolias.Sam was drunk driving from a tavern to a hotel in Normal, IL when he was busted on Saturday night. Tsk tsk Sam, you are probably not pulling down the big bucks, but even shane and I can afford a cab. I’m sure Jessica Lange would have splurged for a Lilybug for you in the spirit of the holidays!
Matt Dillon’s dumb ass wasn’t even drunk, he was speeding . Going 106, even on an Interstate, makes you more of a lethal weapon than a drunk driver, dummy! What do you think he was doing? Madly searching for his relevance? Trying to get to New Year’s Brunch?
But the big winner of the holiday D.U.I. Dummy award has to be Charles Barkley. He was stopped for blowing through a stop sign and found to be intoxicated. His excuse for running the stop sign was that he was in a hurry to go get a b.j. from the chick who was in the car with him!! (Not his wife!!) He later offered to get the po-po’s name tattooed on his ass if they got him out of the D.U.I.
I used to like the Round Mound of Rebound, but lately Sir Cumference is more pathetic than entertaining. And, as always, even with your expensive gambling habit, Chuckie, you can afford a driver.
Honorable mention to some dude from Trading Spaces. I don’t know who he is, but these cable channel stars seem to do a lot of drunk driving.
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